Healing Through Education: How Learning Can Support Survivors After Trauma

In June 1993, I was kidnapped and assaulted by someone we believed to be a family friend. Afterward, I returned to school as if nothing had happened, with little support and minimal therapy. Thrust into the 9th grade, I was left to bear the weight of this traumatic experience alone.

I’ve always loved school and was excited and ready for the new school year to begin. I remember my guidance counselor and principal checking in on me, asking how I was doing, and offering support if I needed it. But looking back, I realize schools weren’t equipped with a trauma-informed approach back then. Though their intentions were good, I didn’t receive the level of support I truly needed. My mom and I were both deeply traumatized by the experiences we endured before the preliminary hearings. That experience made us shy away from any form of therapy, and we never looked back.

Before the kidnapping, I found joy in writing, journaling, and art, but after the trauma, I lost interest in those things. I stopped journaling altogether when my personal writings were used against me, distorting my identity into someone I wasn’t.

I walked the halls carrying a heavy story that no one really knew. A few people asked about what happened to me, but most had no clue that I was “the girl” who had been abducted from 1100 Rangeline St. I remember one person accusing me of making it up for attention.

One of my best friends recently told me that she hadn’t fully grasped what I had been through until we were adults. Then one day, I finally shared the full story with her, and she was in complete shock.

In spite of all of that, returning to school allowed me to channel my energy into learning, providing a much-needed distraction from everything I had been through.

I’ve always placed a high value on education, so I worked hard to keep my grades up. It became a positive outlet for me, a way to focus on growth and building relationships.

By my junior year, I knew that I wanted to attend the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in San Diego, California. I knew that I did not want to stay in Columbia, Missouri because of all of the memories that haunted me. I knew that I wanted to escape, and I've always loved fashion. So my sister, Lori, had met an admissions advisor from the school, and that’s when my journey to California began. It was very exciting, and I looked forward to the opportunity to move to such a beautiful place.

While attending college is not essential for a survivor to thrive, it gave me a healthy way to cope and turn that painful energy into something creative and enjoyable.

After attending FIDM, I returned to Columbia, Missouri, to attend Stephens College. Although I had moved back to the place where the crime had occurred, my positive experiences in school made it feel less painful than before.

Thanks to Stephens, I was able to continue pursuing my passion for fashion, merchandising, marketing, and management. I had the opportunity to assist with fashion shows, connect with more creative people, and thrive in the electric energy of the campus.

Pursuing my education pushed me out of my comfort zone and eventually placed me in environments where my voice could be heard and led to me connecting with others who had similar experiences.

Attending FIDM, along with Stephens, allowed me to grow in my retail career. I’ve had the privilege of meeting incredible people, working for inspiring leaders, and connecting with amazing employees. At each company, I’ve fostered a family-like atmosphere, which has been a true blessing.

Why does LaDonna Renee VST Foundation, Inc. wish to provide scholarships?

In 2009, I met a remarkable woman named Billie Sangster, who founded the nonprofit, Council for Youth Empowerment. This organization provides scholarships to titleholders who engage in community service and develop valuable life skills, such as interviewing, poise, developing a community service platform, and public speaking. I was deeply inspired by the impact these scholarships had on the participants and thought, I would love to offer a scholarship to a survivor in need of support someday —someone eager to volunteer in their community and make a difference in the lives of others.

As a teen survivor, the opportunity to create a platform and apply for scholarships based on my experiences would have given me the confidence to use my voice much sooner than at 30. If there had been a scholarship available for survivors at the time, it would have also helped ease some of the financial burden of moving to another state and attending college.

However, what I’ve learned is that it’s never too late, and building confidence takes time.

While I can’t change the past, I realize that I need to focus on what I can do today. I hope to inspire other survivors to use their voices to create change, heal themselves, and help others along their journeys.

Caroline Wanga, CEO & President of Essence Venutres, stated during her acceptance speech at the NACAN 2024 Keepers of the Dream Cultural Award ceremony, that, “To see me is trauma repair.” At 14, I longed to feel seen and understood. Applying for a scholarship or connecting with a supportive organization would have given me that sense of validation and support.

The purpose of the scholarship program is to let survivors of any age know that they are not alone and that there are people who understand and who are willing to help them succeed. I want to be a light for those experiencing darkness, reminding them that despite their trauma, they can still thrive and make a meaningful impact on the world and in their communities.

If I can inspire even one person through my experience and journey, then it will all be worth it.

A Letter from the Gray Ghost

Dear LaDonna,

You have a habit of trusting people who do not have pure intentions and who ultimately bring you harm. I watched as pieces of your beautiful heart were left shattered on the floor that unspeakable evening.

Clinging to life, death was imminent. You lay on the living room floor atop broken shards of glass, breathless and fading fast. A sense of calmness overcame you as the white light appeared, but you weren’t ready to go. You knew that you had more to do.

Like those shards of glass from your past, Your heart is broken, but it can be mended. Broken, yet still beautiful. You are not beyond repair. Your light may have dimmed that night, but it was not fully extinguished. The fire within you still burns bright.

Over the years, you have been brought back to life by your family and friends who love you dearly. You have shared your story of escape and survival with thousands who have told you that you are brave and courageous. Be confident in that. You have a purpose. Evil and disingenuous people may still cross your path, but God will give you the discernment to identify them, and no weapon formed against you shall prosper.

You will continue to experience times of uncertainty and other adverse experiences over time. Just like you did when you were in limbo between life and death, you will need to rely on your faith and remain hopeful in order to minimize the pain and discomfort. Stay strong. Fight the fear, hang on for dear life, do not let evil win.

That morning when you became so desperate to live, and were able to wiggle yourself free from death’s grip, your angels and the prayers of your loved ones were protecting you. They still are. Do not give up. You will not fail.

The memories that haunt you will not win. Nor will the darkness that creeps in only to feed off of your genuine and divine energy during the times when you are feeling the most vulnerable. Love will prevail. God loves you, and you were saved so that you could make an impact on the lives of others.

You may have left pieces of your heart on the living room floor, amongst the shards of glass that evening, and you may have felt your soul begin to drift away once the white light appeared…… However, your life was spared. You had more to do. You survived and you are blessed.

So please, let go of the haunting memories of me and the others who have caused you pain. Be free. Be kind. Continue to be YOU. Embrace your scars. They add to your uniqueness and beauty. Pray often, take risks, continue to love and support others, and THRIVE! With every heart and soul that you touch, your own heart will continue to heal.

Sincerely,

The Gray Ghost